H e b r e w T r e e

My life can be divided into Chapters.

Chapter One-
Life Before Christ.
All of growing up, up until my first year of high school.

Chapter Two-
High School.
Meeting God and meeting new friends who were vital in my growth in God and helping me learn new things about myself of which I both liked and disliked. That Chapter ends with a heartbreak.

Chapter Three-
Plunging into the summer before my first year of college and meeting my best friend. Getting on this extremely intimate level with God like I have never experienced along with all the new self-discoveries, emotional roller coasters, breakdowns, major decisions and falling deeply, madly, completely in love.

Chapter Four-
December (2007) I decided I was going to leave the California shores of Irvine and move to Utah. Figuring out that Concordia University, Irvine was not the place I was suppose to return too, there is not a doubt in my mind that I was indeed suppose to spend my first year of college figuring out ‘me’ at Concordia and then coming to Utah, which is now my home.

Chapter Five-
Hitting a rock and a hard place with who I was, figuring out some of my vital character flaws, coming to a place where I was stripped down to nothing and God was working in my wounds from growing up, my wounds from believing the great deceive and liar, Satan, and essentially taking away my comfort in an inauthentic life, a life dependent on Ben, myself and my material things and meeting myself, and God in a crossroad which ended His shifting place in my life and solidifying my need to give God everything and laying an unmovable foundation in Him.

Chapter Six-
Now.

I am over-excited about this new chapter in my life. I have learned so much in this past year and half of living in Utah and I believe it is only going to get better. I just recently got this incredible God-given job at a wonderful, top-leading security integrator national company. I am working as a project coordinator underneath the project manager. I do a lot of communication between everyone involved as well as monitor the progress of installations and seeing through the end of each job we book. I still am overwhelmed with thanks to God for this job, I beat out people who have been in the industry for decades, people who could be my parents and have degrees. I want to be so good at my job, but I know that essentially, I am building a career that is long-term and my learning curve is steep. So patience and hard work is my focus.

I'm currently not going to school-which sucks, but is totally okay. I am changing my major to Business: Entrepreneurship from Film Studies for a couple reasons. After working for a year at my job, they will do tuition reimbursement if my major is applicable to my job. I have established my own production company, HebrewsTree, LLC, and I do not need a degree in film to be successful in the film industry. Business: Entrepreneurship will help me be a better business owner as well as a successful project coordinator and the experience I am building now with a degree like that is only benefiting me for the future and the goal is to have a permanent plan B. My goal is to return to school to the University of Utah Fall 2011.

Ben and I broke up for a few weeks at the end of July and are now back dating. It was the most necessary thing that could have happened for us and God spoke loud truths in both our hearts during that time which has made loving each other better because we were able to place God above each other and reconnect with our first love. We just celebrated 2 years of dating and are content where we are.



My mom moved to Utah at the beginning of November! It has been such a healthy new start for her and I'm so excited to be closer to her and excited to be her friend as an adult as well as her only daughter. We've both grown so much and it's hard to not assume the tendencies we both had when I was in high school, which was the last time I lived in the same state as her. It's fun rebuilding that relationship with her and it's even more fun to see her building new friendships and growing closer and more dependent on Jesus.



I moved back to Sugarhouse this Winter with one new friend and one old friend. Melisa is my newest friend in Utah and it's been SO great getting to know her. She is a new Christian coming from a mixed up background of Mormonism and has the most authentic seeker heart I've seen. She is so anxious to know about God and to have an intimate relationship with Him that it gives me reminders everyday to have and keep that same passion. It's so fun talking with her and she definitely keeps me on my toes with all of her wonderful, amazing thoughtful questions about God. She makes me want to be in my bible every waking moment so I can be as helpful as possible as she's learning how to better love God and better love people. Ashley, my best friend from high school and the one who brought me to church, is my old friend who is moving to Utah and will be living with Melisa and I! It's so exciting to reconnect with her. We have had the closest and farthest relationship in the existence of knowing each other the past 7 years. I see a lot of myself in her when I first moved to Utah and can't wait to see how God rocks her world for His purpose and changes her heart to better display His. I couldn't have asked for two better people to live with during this chapter in my life.


Last spring, I started a high school ministry called Girls of Dignity (GDM). I've felt like God was really challenging me to pour into the high school girls because there really wasn't any one person who was committed to them, and high school would have sucked if I didn't have some of the older influences I did pouring into me. We had an amazing retreat during the summer and a few one-day events. Right now, it is just a bible study I lead on Wednesday's. We've gone through the book of Ephesians, James and now we are doing a book called A Daughter's Worth by Ava Sturgeon. It was written directly for high school students and talks about the kind of things a young christian teenager goes through. Recently, I've had an unsettling feeling like I was taking it easy-going the short route with this ministry, knowing I could be doing SO much more, so at the beginning of the new year, it will be turning into a service at our church. We currently have 3 services. The 1st service is when the junior high meets, 2nd service is high school and 3rd service nothing. In January, 3rd service will be GDM where all 9th-12th grade girls are welcome to come and get their girl directed hour. I'll be preparing sermons and retreats, and bible studies throughout the week, guest speakers and one-day events. I am over excited about the potential this ministry has to reach the Salt Lake Valley. I'm so excited to see what God does. Prayers for this to be God's and that I would just be tool in His plan would be so encouraging.



It is just the beginning of Chapter Six and I am so anxious and excited and I have no idea how long it will last, but my prayer is that I would hold onto Christ and His truth and His loyalty and just run with it. I will be 21 this year, and I feel like I'm turning 30. Adulthood has officially sunk in and I can't wait to see what God does next.

Friends and Family, please pray that God would do big things, that my heart will be willing to be uncomfortable for someone else to be comfortable, that He would bring the people that will challenge what I believe in my life to solidify it and that I would surrender to Him daily.

I can't wait to look back on this chapter with you.

Ben and I were able to celebrate our two year anniversary of loving no other opposite sex more at the end of November. For year one, we flew out to California and Ben was able to meet all the people in my life that I hold up so highly and it was truly an amazing trip of togetherness and love and finally I felt like my worlds collided together into one.

For year two, Ben and I were not as anxious to do anything specific and our schedules really didn't allow it, but we still wanted to celebrate somehow. We decided we wanted to share a night with our closest friends in Utah who have become our models for our own relationship and our life-long Utah family.

We went to Olive Garden and had a great night laughing, telling stories and finding rest in each others company. I wouldn't have chosen to do anything else.

I consider myself to be so blessed to have all of you in my life and am so thankful for your willingness to pour into both mine and Ben's life. You all are so precious to me and truly are God-given.
Thank you for all your advice, hope, love and unconditional friendship.

From: Heather
Sent: Wednesday, December 02, 2009 8:27 AM
To: XXXX
Subject: Here it is...

This is an awesome explanation of our religion and what exactly we believe in...bottom line. If you and your friend still think that Mormons are not Christians, then I would say, you really need to do some research on our religion and what our foundation is. This came from my brother, I sent him the emails yesterday and asked for his input. He's the most level headed guy. Really, he thinks any religion can be backed by scriptures coming from the bible. Our entire religion can be backed by the bible. Forget about the book of Mormon and forget about Joseph Smith. He can literally sit down and open the bible and quote scriptures from it...that backs what we believe in. But yet he still sees other view points like yours. Because you guys have scriptures to back your views too. In the end, nothing can be proven. It's all about faith and what you believe in.

Send this to Nicole and Sherry...let me know what they say. It'll be interesting. It fathoms me how some strong Christians are so set on proving another religion false. There's nothing to prove, it's all beliefs and we have the bible to help guide us.



-----Original Message-----
From: Brock
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 11:15 PM
To: Heather
Subject: <><>

There is a lot of he said she said stuff that is said about every religion that most people in the end don't understand at all. When it comes to the basics of the "Mormon" church it comes down to one thing. Do you believe that it is through Christ that we can be saved, and the answer is yes. It is only through Christ that any of us can be saved. By his great sacrifice which we refer to as the atonement, which started it the garden of Gethsemane and ended at his resurrection. He took upon him the sins of the world from the beginning to the end of time, so that we can be free of these sins. He suffered for each and everyone one of our sins in that garden on Gethsemane, and then proceeded to seal it by dying for us upon the cross. Without any of this we would not be able to be free of our sins. He then 3 days later was resurrected and returned back to heaven which is crucial part of the atonement. The resurrection means that his soul and body were reunited back together, but in a glorified state. So Yes, "Mormons" are christian. WE believe in the cross just as much as anybody else. Just cause our "church" decides not to focus on the cross and have necklaces and steeples on our churches doesn't mean we think it is any less important, cause it is. We just choose to focus on the life of Christ, the atonement in whole, (garden of Gethsemane, Calvary hill, and the resurrection) and his teachings rather then just his actual death for us upon the cross. We are as much christian as the next. Take out any thing else the Mormon church does for a second and look at the churches founding doctrine. And that is that its only through the atonement of Christ that we can return to heaven. Whether we believe that we must work hard at being good people also or that tithing should be paid, etc, etc. doesn't matter when the discussion at hand is "are Mo's christian". It is too obvious that we are when u stop looking at the fluff of the Mormon church and look at what its teachings are. On another point, all that "fluff" stuff is great. You don't need to go on a mission to be saved, or pay tithing, or not swear, or get married in the temple. These are teachings of our church that teach us life long lessons about sacrifice for others, true love, and how to truly give yourself to the lord. These are sacrifices that benefit ourselves, and many others. Why would anyone ever think tithing is a bad thing. Millions and millions of dollars are donated every year in tithing that go into helping thousands and thousands of lives around the world through various charities and programs. Tithing is a an act that was taught to us in the Old testament "bible" that members of the faith back then, and prophets practiced, that the lord commanded them to do. Nothing we do is new, its all from the ancient days ,especially the temple. Sure people can argue that the book of Mo is false and that Joseph Smith was messed up, but when it comes down to it, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is as christian as anyone else. Hell, you can just call us "over achieving" Christians because we try to hard. If what you say is true that everything was taken care of by Jesus dying for our sins, then every Mormon is covered under that. We just a busy over achievers trying to be better people and helping others.

But what it comes down to is that you cant prove any church right or wrong. You cant PROVE ANYTHING. The point of religion is to show faith in the lord Jesus Christ, not to PROVE that it is right. If we could prove it, then everyone on earth would follow it and it would defeat the purpose of this life.

Hope this helps with your understanding a bit. And please don't feel that i am dogging on your beliefs at all. This is just how we Mormons roll. haha Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.


From: Nicole Casper
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 11:15 PM
To: Heather
Subject: <><>


Hi Heather,

So, I’ve never met someone quite like this before.
I would much rather have you over to make pizza’s and get to know you than debate with you-and debating, or proving anything to you with my words is not my objective. I actually though that the “why don’t you think Mormons are Christians?” question was XXXX asking me, not a question from you to her. So please, let me clarify a few things. I would hate for you to have a stigma of me before we can laugh together.


[I am willing to double check any of this and open to being corrected if the bible says something that contradicts what I’ve misinterpreted.]

Yeah, it will always be a losing he said/she said battle.
I did think that her original question to you was your question to me, so let me clarify:
I can totally understand why Mormons would think that they are Christians when it comes down to morals. Living a morally correct lifestyle is a part of letting Jesus change you, for sure. But when it comes down to how we are changed, and who God is, we are different. We believe the moral code of what is right/wrong/sinful, comes after you believe in Christ, He changes us as we personally get to know him and fall madly in love with him, whereas Mormons do that before. (“You need to stop drinking diet coke”)
“Really, he thinks any religion can be backed by scriptures coming from the bible. Our entire religion can be backed by the bible.”
Wrong. Not when you read the whole thing. The bible warns greatly about other religions. The bible is a direct, and the only, source God has to teach us about truth, and truth is found in Jesus. Who is God.

“Do you believe that it is through Christ that we can be saved, and the answer is yes. It is only through Christ that any of us can be saved. By his great sacrifice which we refer to as the atonement, which started it the garden of Gethsemane and ended at his resurrection. He took upon him the sins of the world from the beginning to the end of time, so that we can be free of these sins. He suffered for each and everyone one of our sins in that garden on Gethsemane, and then proceeded to seal it by dying for us upon the cross. Without any of this we would not be able to be free of our sins.
Kind of. Atonement happened ON the Cross. At the Cross, all sins were taken away from those who put their trust and life in Jesus’ hands FOREVER. Definitely about all Jesus being our only saving source.

"He then 3 days later was resurrected and returned back to heaven which is crucial part of the atonement. The resurrection means that his soul and body"
wrong. Not body. God has no body. God is neither he nor she. Jesus was reunited with God, Jesus IS God. (confusing, I know.)

“Take out anything else the Mormon church does for a second and look at the churches founding doctrine.”
If he is referring to the Book of Mormon, which is what Mormonism uses as their main doctrine, along with many others, then that’s a problem. The bible is the only book Christians use as God-inspired text. Everything else is untrue and the bible gives very strict warnings for listening to other doctrines. (I mean, Opera magazine is probably even classified in there )

“ it’s only through the atonement of Christ that we can return to heaven. Whether we believe that we must work hard at being good people also or that tithing should be paid, etc, etc.”
If you believe that salvation is something you can earn or it makes you better at doing the whole religious thing, AND you believe that Jesus is the only way to heaven, then that is so sad. Salvation is a FREE gift. You cannot earn. You are just as sinful as the man in prison who killed 7 people. And God loves you the same and there is nothing you could ever do to make God love you more or less. Being a good person means absolutely nothing if your heart isn’t aligned with Jesus and your motivation isn’t love.

“These are teachings of our church that teach us lifelong lessons about sacrifice for others, true love, and how to truly give yourself to the lord.”
Sure. Spiritual disciplines are great to grow your relationship with God. Reading your bible, tithing, giving, praying, fasting

“These are sacrifices that benefit ourselves, and many others. Why would anyone ever think tithing is a bad thing.”
It’s not about us.


“Nothing we do is new, it’s all from the ancient days ,especially the temple. Sure people can argue that the book of Mo is false and that Joseph Smith was messed up, but when it comes down to it, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is as Christian as anyone else.”
Wrong. The book of Mormon is false. Jesus was the last prophet on earth. If someone claims to be a prophet and they prophesize something to happen, it is doesn’t, they are a liar. Joseph Smith lied. A lot. No, when it comes down to it, Mormons and Christians believe differently in some of the huge doctrinal issues. I’m not arguing that specifically your friends are not Christians, from most of what they said they believe, they sound like confused Christians, but Mormonism and Christianity are not the same.)

Continued from "Why do you think Mormons are not Christians?" My friend had sent me an email from a co-worker, which I thought was just my friend, and there has been some correspondence between the three of us. I'd love to hear your comments...



From: XXXX
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 3:53 PM
To: Heather
Subject: RE:

Its not so much the dying on the cross that’s the issue. It’s the fact that the believe it wasn’t enough. There is still more they have to do. Tithe, be good, serve, go on a mission , go to the temple. There is a verse in the Book of Mo that says something about being save “after all you can do.” Implying that there is more that needs to be done by us. When Jesus died on the cross he said, “It is finished.” Meaning is over and there is nothing more that we can do. He did it. End of story. So in my eyes, they do not believe that Jesus died and took the penalty for their sins. He just did part of it. That isn’t Biblical. That to me is the difference.

I hate to argue over the word Christian because its all dependent on what your definition of the word is. Their definition makes them Christians (believing IN Jesus Christ). My definition is believing that Jesus death on the cross and resurrection was enough to pay the penalty for my sins and there is nothing else that I can do to earn it or be good enough or deserve it. Its all about the definition.

So, you aren’t necessarily wrong, there are just some main differences that really separate Mo from Christianity

I asked Nicole and this is her response. Let me know yours.

Mormons are not Christians because they don’t believe that Jesus is the son of Man and the only way to get to heaven. They think he is just a prophet and was a really good man. What makes someone a Christian is believing that Jesus Christ is all Father, Son AND Holy Spirit, that atonement happened when he DIED on the cross and that believing in Him and who He said he was (which is truth, life, eternal salvation...) and that he is the ONLY way to Heaven and no one can get to the Father except through Jesus and knowing Him, personally and that he rose again because His resurrection proved that he was the Son of God (biblical-Paul affirmed that Christ is “declared to be the Son of God with power . . . by the resurrection from the dead” (Romans 1:4). Also, it gives us the assurance that we are forgiven-if Jesus was raised, sins will be forgiven when we obey the gospel (Acts 2:38; 22:16), Jesus’ resurrection proves that physical death is not the termination of human existence, it is assurance that we too, as Christians will be raised to be with our living King (which is another big deal about Jesus raising from the dead: the kingdom of God is ruled by a living sovereign). And ultimate victory of Christianity over all its enemies. When Christ raised, He defeated the world, Satan and all of sin. When we put our trust in Jesus, we are saved from eternal separation in Hell. Nothing else. We do not have to do ANYTHING else. But, I think there are “Mormons” who are Christian, they are just still trying to earn their salvation. Which is really sad. The reason why we celebrate the cross is because it represents freedom. Christ died to set us free from worldly, spiritual and “fill in the blank” bondage.

Mine is the reason above though.. I’m still learning and looking into the reasons she has said..






From: Heather
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 4:24 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE:

I'm obviously not an expert on this....BUT, we do believe that Christ did pay for our sins not on the cross but in the garden of Gesemany when he bled from every pour in his body. This is when that took place, and it allowed for us to always be able to repent for our sins. It doesn't mean to us that everything is taken care of, and we have a sure ride into heaven because he died on the cross. We do believe he bore that pain, and did take upon himself all of our sins. And that's why we are able to repent of our sins today. We do believe we have to continue to work for it, and repent of our sins and go through that repentance process. Which Christ made it possible for us to do this, when he repented and suffered. I think the mission stuff, is more of a bonus, some people go the extra mile if you will. ha. But yes, we do think we need to continue to strive and repent of our sins, pay tithe, get married in the temple, etc. to become closer to him and work towards that goal of being with him someday. We believe he is the son of our heavenly father.

So you believe that any sin you make now, is completely taken care of? We believe that because he suffered for us, he made it possible for us to repent of our sins here on earth and to return to him someday. For ex: If I went out and started robbing and stealing things....and then realized what I've done. We don't think it's taken care of just because Christ suffered for us. Because he suffered for us, we believe that he's made it possible for us to fully repent and be remorseful of our sins. That process would be to repent in prayer, and truly feel remorseful and sorrowful for what I had done.

Our church name is "The Church of Jesus Christ". We believe IN Jesus Christ who is the son of God. Your friend said we don't believe Jesus is the son of man? Yes we do! He is the son of God, that's exactly what we believe. We do believe that he rose again, and was resurrected and is the Son of God. We do believe: Jesus’ resurrection proves that physical death is not the termination of human existence. We do believe: Also, it gives us the assurance that we are forgiven-if Jesus was raised, sins will be forgiven when we obey the gospel. But, we still have to repent of our sins we make. We also believe: as Christians will be raised to be with our living King. We call him our Heavenly Father/God, Jesus Christ is the son of god. We believe: When Christ raised, He defeated the world, Satan and all of sin. This is why we are able to repent of our sins, because he suffered and died for us. We believe that when we put our faith in Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father we will be blessed, and we do believe that we can't just sit back and have a free ride to Heaven. We believe we have to continually strive to be closer to him, repent of our sins, and worship him. Which can include the whole tithe thing, and going on a mission. That's very similar to your mission things like your Haiti mission and such. It's doing those things to continually become closer to him, which does make that relationship stronger. I wouldn't say, we believe you HAVE to do these things to even have a chance to be with him again...it's more of the fact that these things help us strive to become closer to him by sacrifice. Like paying tithing of 10%, that's a huge sacrifice to make. Or going on a mission, that's a sacrifice of giving up years of our life to serve him. Which by doing these things, only makes us closer to him and to strive to be with him.

From: XXXX
Sent: Monday, November 30, 2009 9:01 AM
To: Nicole Casper
Subject: RE: so..

I feel like when I read, I LOVE it! and I learn a ton, but then I almost forget it when I stop and go on with my day.. is there anything that you do/did when you were a new Christian that helped you retain his words?


From: Nicole Casper
Sent: Monday, November 30, 2009 9:57 AM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: so..

Yeah, I would journal A TON. Talk about the meanings and implications with my two Christian friends, Ash and Beth. I prayed like a mad woman that God would give me wisdom and help me remember what I read. I was in my bible before school, during lunch and before bed. I also read full books, and not just scattered verses.
DEFINITELY journaling helps a lot. You remember things like 60% more when you write it down. Your thoughts your concerns, your questions, your disagreements, what you liked, what you didn’t. There’s this acronym I used, P.R.E.P.A.R.E.

Pray
Read
Examine
Ponder
Ask
Retell
E … (CRAP! I can’t remember the last E. haha I’ll get back to you on that one.)

I also would write on note cards, maybe even half a note card, the point of what I just read and leave it in my bible where I read it. So the note card would have the date and the verse and chapter at the top and then what I wanted to remember.
Sooo like….

James 4:4 11/30/09
Check your motives when asking God for something.
Ask God for things with right motives.
A friend to this world is a enemy of God.

From: XXXX
Sent: Monday, November 30, 2009 8:31 AM
To: Nicole Casper
Subject: so..

So, this morning you said you read and prayed all morning.

When you read, do you pray?

Please don’t think I’m dumb – I really want to get to know God, and feel like I am kinda far away from knowing him..



From: Nicole Casper
Sent: Monday, November 30, 2009 8:52 AM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: so..

Nothing you ever ask about God will I EVER think is dumb.

Sometimes, This morning for example, I started to read and in John 16-17 (somewhere in between there, I think 16) it talks about how god chose us. I stopped reading and started talking with God. I just told him how overwhelmed I was with the fact that he chose me. That I could have never known him and how thankful I was that he was my king. It’s always good to pray before you start reading the bible. It tells us that the holy spirit will talk to us and if we ask God to give us wisdom when we read; make these words and paragraphs more than just data, that God will do that for us. For instance, I prayed that God would illuminate the words that he needed me to focus on today. That he would teach me something new. I asked for wisdom and discernment as I read and that truth would settle in.
I kinda like to just sit in silence before God for a while and let my heart become vulnerable and allow the things that are bugging me or that I’ve been worried about surface. Sometimes things come up that I didn’t even know was on my heart. I’ll talk to God about those things, then I’ll read and it’s more of like just continuing to talk to God as I read things. For instance, this morning I read at the beginning of 14 and at the end it tells us to not let our hearts be troubled, trust God. I just said, “okay God. Help me do that.” And then kept on reading. There really is no “correct way to spend your time with God. There’s things like praying before you read and knowing what God says so you can get the most out of what he offers you, but you can sit, stand, kneel, fall on your face, yell, whisper, cry, pray before, during, after, not say anything at all, talk too much, speak in one word sentences, run-ons, read one verse, one chapter, one book. God just wants your time. And the more you get to know him, the more you’ll understand ways he enjoys being worshipped. But it starts with seeking Him.

From: XXXX
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 2:01 PM
To: Nicole Casper
Subject: RE: ha!

I wrote a couple comments below.

I am so not used to things taking so long for me to get. I normally get things pretty quick… like school subjects and such, so this is pissing me off!! 

We should talk about the spending time with God. I REALLY liked it and want to journal about it. AHH! JOURNALING!

I’ve been doing really good on the praying whenever I have some down time, and good on letting him control my life today! But nothing really testing has happened for me to REALLY make sure He is in charge. Soo… yeah.


"Petition these things to him and trust him."
I struggle with this… I don’t like doing things that make people mad or sad, etc. so, the thought of getting angry with or questioning God blows my mind and I don’t see myself doing. I am learning that I almost HAVE to be like WTF God – what are you trying to teach me here and why are you doing this to me. Even in your prayer this morning – you were saying ‘make us see something God’. I normally ask and not demand. Do you think there is a difference here? Maybe my tippy toeing around God isn’t the best path….

SIDE NOTE! I just read the Spending time with God and LOVED IT! one thing that really got me thinking and I hadn’t really thought about before was the ‘be specific’ part in the prayer section. (the part with the Plymouth Cricket) I never pray for something specifically. It made me think though.. GOD KNOWS what is best for us. And he knows what we want inside and out.. I understand we need to ask for his help (what Brock talked about in Collge Group a few times back) but we need to ask for specifics??? That seems weird to me..

Note:
[Spending Time with God: http://christianity.about.com/od/practicaltools/a/PartISpendTime.htm]


"this is a big trust test from God"
GASP! I didn’t think about that! I think you are so right. because last night I told the demons to go away and the thoughts disappeared but the feeling remained… I had been feeling so protected by God, like when something bad would happen he would just shower me with gifts. Examples: He made it snow when it wasn’t even in the forecast. Snow always brings a smile to my face. Secondly, sent a freaking dog in the church when I was crying. I truly think these were Him cheering me up, protecting me!

You rock.


"God-fearing,"
What does this mean? You say that about Solomon too. Why are we supposed to fear God??


From: Nicole Casper
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 2:55 PM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: ha!

The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.
1 Timothy 5:4-6
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
James 1:4-6
You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.
James 4:1-3
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
1 John 5:13-15

It’s not so much, “WTF God…” it’s saying, “God. I don’t understand why you are putting this in front of me, but I know that you are good and your way is the best way. Show me what you want me to get out f this and no matter what happens, I will still worship you.”

‘Fear’ is from the Hebrew word "yare" to stand in awe. The word ‘fear’, in most relation to ‘fearing God’, is just another word for ‘respect’.

From: XXXX
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 10:04 AM
To: Nicole Casper
Subject: RE: ha!

I think you are SO right. so right.. its hard to dismiss it though.. I haven’t been alone for 9 YEARS until the last 4 or 5 months.. It is so weird to me! And, to top it off, I am still trying to figure out who I am and who God wants me to be, so I feel pretty lost at times (I think this is normal, right?) almost the free falling feeling, but each time I have fallen, God has picked me up.. I know what is best for me—giving everything over to God, but like Jen was saying last night – it is so much harder to actually do.. like I mentioned this morning, I WANT to give my life over, I WANT Him to be in charge, I WANT Him to be foundation, but where do I begin??? I know I need to read His word, which I am getting better and better at! The last week I haven’t missed one day of reading, and often it has been numerous times a day- which is pretty cool to me.. but I often feel like a freggin retarded person because I don’t know how to do most things! I look at you, Jenna and Breanna who I consider my closest girl friends right now – and I want to be where you guys are spiritually! I want to get where Alex is and he got there in such a short time! I know he still struggles, I know you guys still struggle, but I still want to be further than I am! Its frustrating.

Going to the men – this may sound conceded, but I have always gotten who and what I have wanted with guys.. if I was interested in them, I would date them, hang out with them, etc. but NOW it seems like NO ONE is interested in me.. I feel like an ugly loser, which sucks hard core.. is this God’s doing do you think? Or am I just not an attractive person inside and out to Christians?

You probably didn’t think I was going to ramble on like this.. sorry. haha


From: Nicole Casper
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 11:04 AM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: ha!

I know what you mean.
You’re hunger for God and to know him is good. God isn’t a subject in school you can study to get an A on a test. He reveals things to you and allows you to understand certain things at certain times because he is concerned with your heart above all else. Don’t lose your fire to seek him and all that he is. He knows your frustrations and knows what you desire. Petition these things to him and trust him. I think overall, this is a big trust test from God . If you desperately seek after him, he is going to reveal his wonder to you. Don’t stress about where you are. God isn’t. He is overjoyed with your passion. Just keep getting to know him. He is a mysterious God. And he’s teasing you to run after him. So throw your hair back and put on your Nike’s!

As far as this crap about not being attractive… The men you went after didn’t care about your heart, they cared about your vagina. It’s not conceded to say that you were alluring, but you are interested in a different kind of guy now. Plus, do you really want a guy who just falls at your will? No. You want a God-fearing, strong, leader who loves you best because he loves God more and you can receive his love best because you love God more. God does not think you are an ugly loser. God thinks you are treasure to be stored and treated like the daughter of a King that you are. You know what the bible says about someone who is made new in Christ? Proverbs 19:8, “He who gets wisdom loves his own soul” the Hebrew word for wisdom in this verse means a new heart, a good heart and a new spirit; a clean heart and a right spirit; a heart of flesh, a soft, tender, and contrite one. In complete opposition to a hard heart, a heart of stone: a wise and understanding heart, such an one as Solomon had; a heart to know the Lord, and to fear him; in which his laws are written, the graces of his Spirit are implanted and in which God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit, dwell. The desires of such a heart seeks after it, prays for it, and uses all means to obtain it; and who, through the grace of God; does possess it, as the word signifies; he by all this shows that he has a regard to the good and welfare of his immortal soul. You love your own soul and the weight of what men think of you are close to non-existent. (of course there will always be a pull-it is our curse from the Garden.) You have an audience of one, my dear. Can you see at all why a man right now would not only be painful (because he will of course be a jackass one time or another…or 5 times..or 12 times…and right now, you allow too much weight to be held on men) but also, God wants you to be content with you. He wants you to acquire this wisdom; this new heart and it takes time and it takes pruning and growing new branches so that you can learn to love who you are and who God molds you into: a mysterious, wonderfully created woman of God that is dependent of Jesus and loves-even embraces every quirky thing about herself. And after you find Christ and settle into Him, then you get to let go and rest in Him: peace, joy, and comfort in this world: and, in the world to come, glory, honor, and eternal happiness.

From: XXX
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 8:57 AM
To: Nicole Casper
Subject: ha!


You know how I really would like a male in my life that I could love and that could love me in return? Well – I’ve been like WTF to God lately.. I think I just haven’t been looking or caring at the signs he has been giving me to why he isn’t providing me with this… Alex sent me that verse that I read to you Friday (that 1 Corinthians chap 7) and I was like COOL now where is my man? THEN 4 days later – the podcast we listened to this morning was on the EXACT same verse.

Very interesting…


Notes:
[1 Corinthans 7:1-7 1 "Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that."

Podcast: Francis Chan, Christ-Centered Relationships Pt 1]




From: Nicole Casper [mailto:Nicole.Casper@niscayah.us]
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 9:24 AM
To: XXXX
Subject: RE: ha!

To be honest with you sister, I think a significant other could be a really negative addition to your life right now. You’re learning so much about God and who he is and it’s still up and down. It’s not easy being in a relationship and not having Jesus as a solid foundation. Jesus didn’t become my foundation until Ben and I broke up. Since, it’s been so better because I am not on a rollercoaster with Ben with my feelings and desires and needs. I love Ben better and free-er now because God is first. It was a really hard year and a half. If you could bypass that-wow! How amazing would that be?

Dating isn’t bad thought. But I would encourage you to seek God right now and dwell on what HE WANTS for, not necessarily what you think you need or want.

From: XXXX
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 3:24 PM
To: Nicole Casper
Subject: help !!

So let's talk about this... You know that Mormons do believe in Christ, and we believe and know he died on the cross. That's what a Christian is. But we don't get hung up on him dying on the cross, that's why we don't wear the cross as a symbol...but more of the fact that he was resurrected, and that's what we cherish most. So why do you think that Mormons are not Christians? Not debating...just curious.

What do I say???



From: Nicole Casper
Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2009 3:41 PM
To: XXX
Subject: Re: help !!

Woah. Okay. No.

Mormons are not Christians because they don’t believe that Jesus is the son of Man and the only way to get to heaven. They think he is just a prophet and was a really good man. What makes someone a Christian is believing that Jesus Christ is all Father, Son AND Holy Spirit, that atonement happened when he DIED on the cross and that believing in Him and who He said he was (which is truth, life, eternal salvation...) and that he is the ONLY way to Heaven and no one can get to the Father except through Jesus and knowing Him, personally and that he rose again because His resurrection proved that he was the Son of God (biblically-Paul affirmed that Christ is “declared to be the Son of God with power . . . by the resurrection from the dead” (Romans 1:4). Also, it gives us the assurance that we are forgiven-if Jesus was raised, sins will be forgiven when we obey the gospel (Acts 2:38; 22:16), Jesus’ resurrection proves that physical death is not the termination of human existence, it is assurance that we too, as Christians will be raised to be with our living King (which is another big deal about Jesus raising from the dead: the kingdom of God is ruled by a living sovereign). And ultimate victory of Christianity over all its enemies. When Christ raised, He defeated the world, Satan and all of sin. When we put our trust in Jesus, we are saved from eternal separation in Hell. Nothing else. We do not have to do ANYTHING else. But, I think there are “Mormons” who are Christian, they are just still trying to earn their salvation. Which is really sad. The reason why we celebrate the cross is because it represents freedom. Christ died to set us free from worldly, spiritual and “fill in the blank” bondage.

I've been having wonderful and beautiful correspondence with a good friend who has a lot of questions. I was looking over our emails and thought how great would it be to let people read the things we have been talking about because I bet these topics come up a lot in our mind, and what if we don't have anyone we trust to work through them?

I'm going to post raw things that have been said and hope that the outcome of these posts are a simple encouragement to seek Jesus and ask the questions that are on your heart and seek truth in your answers.

Please feel free to add your comments on each post.

The Quest series shall begin!